Are You a Good Party Guest?

17 Jan



When Thinking of Social Media, Think of a Big Party!

Imagine you are invited to a big party.  You are entering the room, you say hello to everyone, you small-talk a bit, you participate in a discussion, you listen what others say, you make some compliments or praise someone, you have fun and you show yourself from your best side – or at least that’s what it is supposed to be. However there are some who do not know or respect the unwritten party rules:

There are these party guests who seem to be very uncomfortable: They don’t look at you, speak and look into another direction, you see only their back and their hair, or they wear a huge hat, pulled deep into their face or equally strange, they wear big sun glasses, so that you cannot see their eyes.

Now imagine some of the party guests are not introducing themselves, they come in, don’t look at anyone, put up their business sign and tell everyone, who stops by: “This is my book, go get it”, pointing at their sign:  Nothing else… buy my book, buy my book, buy my book… and never have a conversation with others.

Then there are these annoying braggers, who are constantly talking about their statistics, how many potential customers they have (followers/un-followers), something no one is interested in or wants to hear.

Some of the guests are not very polite either, they only talk with one person during the whole party, even when they are surrounded with lots of other people, whom they just ignore.

And then there are party guests who are totally involved into their parenting role, they are constantly showing total strangers pictures of their young ones and you can bet, at their social media accounts is not an image of them, but of their kids, or at least having their toddlers included in the photo (same with pets).  Others show anyone they meet (even in their avatars), pictures of their boat, car or motor home… Folks, no one is interested in your motor home, potential party guests (readers) want to see YOU or learn about you and not about your gadgets!

Other party guests are literally glued to their partner, like Siamese twins, they adore each other and show the whole world how much they are in love. They barely have a conversation with someone else, but kiss and touch each other constantly.  Not sure why they came at all, maybe for the free drinks.

Some party guests are telling a lot about their private life:  which diseases they survived, single parenthood they master etc. – not a party theme at all.  Would they tell the same if they are invited for an interview or a meeting with a potential publisher?
Shine at the Social Media party! Be social! And use the same photo at Social Media sites that you use or would use on your book’s cover:  a professional one. You want to introduce yourself as a serious writer.  Don’t show kids, lovers, gadgets or beer bottles in your photos.
Here are some writers who show professionalism in their avatar: Lorijo Metz – Peter Standish Evans – Rose Edmunds – Brinda Carey or Cheryl Danielson, just to name a few.


You are at parties to have fun, including the big Social Media party, so be a good sport, be social with everyone and do represent your book business professionally. It’s a shop window for you and your books, even your business card… which you show there to total strangers, maybe agents, publishers, editors or to influential bloggers.

Which type of party guest / Social Media guests do you like best? Or who do you avoid?




If you enjoyed this blog post, please feel free to check out all previous posts of this blog (there are almost 600 of them : ) if you haven’t already. Why not sign up to receive them regularly by email? Just click on “Follow” in the upper line on each page – and then on “LIKE” next to it. There is also the “SHARE” button underneath each article where you can submit the article to Pinterest, Google+, Twitter,, Facebook, Tumblr and StumpleUpon.

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And don’t forget to spread the word on other social networking sites of your choice for other writers who might also enjoy this blog and find it useful. Thanks, Doris


Hyper Smash



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One response to “Are You a Good Party Guest?

  1. Maggie Bolitho

    January 17, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    I love social media as a party – what a great analogy. Yes, let’s all put on our party manners and speak to the people around us.
    This is an appealing website. It’s easy to navigate with interesting content. I will be back.


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